harlequin

so, i'm always about a six months to a year (at the very least) late reading these books that come out... you know, the ones that are targeted towards really "cool" or young christians who are sick of status quo Jesus and want something more for their bleak spiritual lives? i find that they are usually authored by some no-name, who has just written his or her way into the world. typically these books have nifty titles, and have pretty cool design on the front so as to say, "this book, although found in the "religion" section at this fine barnes and noble, is not really about "religion" but about how much the author of this book loathes it..."

i don't know if i'm always late reading these books because i hate reading, or if i hate the idea of jumping on some sort of anti-church establishment bandwagon.

a little of both, probably, even though i typically end up liking these sorts of books. they make me uncomfortable, create frustration, and mess up my comfortable lullaby of a relationship with a God i should fear.

this week, i went in to pay my overdue fines at the library (mister k would be so [not] proud of me), and the librarian said, "oh you have a hold that came in too. "crazy love." should be over there on the shelf..."

at first i thought, "yes! my romance novel came in! here i come fabio." not really. but i seriously did forget that i had even placed a hold on that, because i had done so months ago - and it was just now coming in.

i was on my way to the Y, so i gave the book the ole', "if i am interested enough in reading this, that i won't people watch or pretend i'm deaf while watching regis and kelly, then i will keep reading it."

actually, i really got sucked into the book. francis chan seems like a regular guy who has really just been realizing how incredibly passionate and outrageous God's love for us really is. the first couple of chapters, i found somewhat repetitive - but hey can you think of anything more incredibly and beautifully repetitive in this world than the love Jesus has for his kids?

chapter five is called, "serving leftovers to a holy God." ouch. somewhere in the chapter he says, "he [God] was saying that no worship is better than apathetic worship. i wonder how many church doors God wants to shut today."

that seemed like a pretty major statement. most of us think that church, for all it's flaws and mess, is still a great thing. and i truly believe that church is important - or rather, a community of believers who are passionately pursuing the same God that is pursuing them - together is profound. but i think that apathy has filled the pews, movie theater seats, and folding chairs of too many churches for far too long.

my challenge since reading that has been to seriously examine whether i'm cold, lukewarm, or hot for a God who gave his life for me.

what are you?