Which way the wind blows

My process for decision making has always been pretty non methodical. I have a sensitivity to my own format and kind of saunter from position to position, love the hell out of what I do, and then feel the change in the wind. It always works. It's always good too - even when the ride is sometimes scary, or heartbreaking, or confusing. I learn a lot from my experiences and therefore tend to embrace them even more in hindsight than I do in the present.

Being married sort of changes that process as now there is not only another person to consider, but another decision maker to respect. People ask me what the "big difference" is between dating and being married and I can list about a million things (for us at least) but that is huge. When you are dating, you have another person that you likely consider when making your decisions. When you're married - you are equal partners in a non-business venture. You both have decision making abilities and bring fears, motives, past experiences and future plans to the table. 

There are so many changes in the wind for us right now. I feel hugely overwhelmed, sad, and excited. I'm learning how good decisions can be happy and sad at the same time (more on that another day) but I'm also learning what to do with my tendency to be anxious. 

I read today: 

“Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (Matthew 6:30-33 MSG)

I don't like tea. I have always wanted to. I also don't like domestic analogies for the word of God. I've never wanted to. One time a pastor gave an hour talk on how we're like sponges and I about tossed my breakfast. But I'm going to go against my better judgment here and talk about tea. 

Everyone knows you can't throw the teabag in there for ten seconds and get tea. It has to be fully enveloped and pressed into the piping water. It has to sit there, waiting to become tea. A teabag is just a teabag and boiling water is just boiling water - until you put them together. Until you steep the teabag. Then you get results.

There have been some seasons when I wasn't seeing a ton of God-breathed results in my life and it's because I wasn't steeping. I was throwing a prayer out here and there, going to church, the normal God "feeling" kind of stuff. The only times I've ever gotten inspired results have been when I have steeped myself into who God is. Spending time with him, reading what he has to say, talking to him, receiving the wisdom around me... 

So, I'm repeating Matthew 6:30 over the season at hand. Not in a jean skirt & tight bun kinda way - but in a spirit that knows well the ways of God: whole & holy.