i just spent the better portion of my monday off cleaning out
cabinets that no one ever looks in. organizing closets that no one ever
opens. and i feel the settled-ness in my soul that quenches the thirst
of obsessive compulsives everywhere.
peace finds permanence in me when things are orderly. i've always done better with routine; i love making check marks next to completed to-dos, and i sure as hell love accomplishing goals. this takes time to adjust to. it took me a while to feel comfortable enough with myself to let other people know - "yeah, i like things a certain way and i'm sure you do too."
the first guy i ever dated probably didn't know that about me because in young love's desperation i kept preferences and opinions on the down low to try and manage the expectation levels of a package i had sold with no returns or exchanges.
but now i'm here: living in a city full of dirty people - holding their dirty bodies steady on a dirty train by grabbing the dirty pole with their dirty mitts. my boyfriend was born and raised here and in all of his cultural/gender/background/cleanliness differences - we are nothing alike. he thinks i'm ridiculous and i think he's disgusting. so he showers and i let him kiss me even if he has food in his beard (sometimes - he is better at the compromising game than i am at this stage in the game).
so why do i love the feeling of organized closets, pantries, and cabinets that no one will see? probably because having alignment on the inside feels good. there are parts of me that i work on that not everybody knows that i work on. and it doesn't make those parts unimportant. they're really important.
and the only way a house can even begin to look pretty is by having a pretty damn sturdy slab of level concrete.
peace finds permanence in me when things are orderly. i've always done better with routine; i love making check marks next to completed to-dos, and i sure as hell love accomplishing goals. this takes time to adjust to. it took me a while to feel comfortable enough with myself to let other people know - "yeah, i like things a certain way and i'm sure you do too."
the first guy i ever dated probably didn't know that about me because in young love's desperation i kept preferences and opinions on the down low to try and manage the expectation levels of a package i had sold with no returns or exchanges.
but now i'm here: living in a city full of dirty people - holding their dirty bodies steady on a dirty train by grabbing the dirty pole with their dirty mitts. my boyfriend was born and raised here and in all of his cultural/gender/background/cleanliness differences - we are nothing alike. he thinks i'm ridiculous and i think he's disgusting. so he showers and i let him kiss me even if he has food in his beard (sometimes - he is better at the compromising game than i am at this stage in the game).
so why do i love the feeling of organized closets, pantries, and cabinets that no one will see? probably because having alignment on the inside feels good. there are parts of me that i work on that not everybody knows that i work on. and it doesn't make those parts unimportant. they're really important.
and the only way a house can even begin to look pretty is by having a pretty damn sturdy slab of level concrete.
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