so i'm in miami on a business trip (swear to G this is the best "job" i've ever had - wranglin' a toddler whom i adore whole-heartedly) and i am finding myself completely immersed in these vastly different worlds.
two nights before i left i had a chance to go hear rachel lloyd speak. she is the founder of GEMS, and made a documentary called "very young girls" that i hope you will go watch right now (it's on netflix). i watched the documentary about a year ago with my sister-in-law and what we thought was going to be insightful and informative, turned out to be heartbreaking and propelling. after tearfully talking with my sister-in-law about how i became instantly passionate about this (not to mention intentionally smacking myself in a neighborhood where women = sex), she and i both decided we couldn't let ourselves simply be informed. we had to act. everything is still very deep in the bottom of our hearts, but i am definitely aligning myself in positions to be in relationship with young women in my neighborhood and am partnering with some cool people in the process.
anyways - i'm reading rachel's book "girls like us" while on this "business trip" - which is actually more like a strange but incredible "get paid extra to go on vacation and enjoy the crap out of yourself on our dime" trip. i have oodles of time to lay by a pool and people watch and read and this book is incredible. i'm almost through with it and started it the day before yesterday.
miami is a strange place filled with fake boobs, hilarious scottish tourists who are so incredibly proud of every patch of cellulite, young party people, celebrities, and me. i always think it's funny to be in places like this people watching thinking that other people are nuts, but then realizing you have something big in common - out of all the places to go in the world, we're here. the same place. anyways i read page after page of abuse and such horrific things done to women (RIGHT NOW - and in a city near you), and then look up and see such enjoyment, relaxation, and safety.
what's so special about me that i was born into an amazing family, white, privileged, and had to worry about very little growing up? my family situation was more of a "don't-remember-what-day-it-is-because-i'm-on-vacation" cozy family with a mom and a dad and brothers, whereas my friend ____ grew up with no dad (he left the day he was born - but had managed to raise his two older siblings fine), only to have him come back for ONE day when he was 13, give him five bucks and then peace out. what makes he and i so incredibly different?
today i ran into walgreens to grab a few things and in front of me in line was a woman with a huge bottle of wine. like one of those XXL ones. her teenage son was with her and he wanted to add two bars of deoderant to the bill but she said she wanted to pay for the wine separately and that he needed to go grab a basket and meet up with his sister, then they would get back in line and she'd buy their stuff. he seemed confused, so she stated again, more urgently, that he NEEDED to go get a basket. still confused, he slowly walked off and she watched him like a hawk and then said to the cashier - "QUICK - gimme a pack of those marlboros. two. gimme two." the cashier was confused as to why this seemed so rushed, but she said, "OK QUICK SCAN THEM!" and then she stuffed them in her bag and when her son came back, she smiled one of those awkward "i didn't do anything wrong" smiles and then she paid (kid HAD to have been confused about how ONE XXL bottle of wine turned into such a fortune so quickly) and then walked back to the store to keep shopping.
the whole situation was kinda like one of those pangs i get when i see someone being mean to a person who isn't the same color as them, or not smiling at my baby when he seems super happy to smile at them and is waving (come on - how bad is your life that you can't smile and wave back at a one year old initiating human contact?). again, i found myself caught in the hugely different worlds of escapism and over-joyed-to-be-aliveism.
so weird to me the things that happen to us are all series of events that we choose and do not choose, but in the very beginning - we definitely didn't have any say over. like my sweet niece and nephew born into such love and provision. they have everything they need/want and then i think about the babies i would munch on in haiti - born into awful circumstances with little chance of them ever getting better. not only do they not have probably anything they want, but probably have almost nothing that they need.
oh differences. makes me think of brett dennen. 'blessed is this life, oh and i'm gonna celebrate being alive.'
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