toy story and dirty shoes

so i finally went to see toy story three tonight. despite the sad fact that one of the boys in my class came up to me a week ago and just blurted out the ending - i enjoyed it very much. still liked number two the best though (i know, kill me).

anyways, for some reason i really noticed the whole ownership/sense of belonging aspect of the story more than i have in any of the other films. there's a particular line that caught me. one toy was explaining to the others that their owner didn't care about them anymore and that it was better to not have an owner and to just have a lot of kids play with them. he said, 'no owner means no heartbreak.' right then and there i pulled out my pen and wrote that line down on my hand.

this kind of goes back to what i was talking about a few posts ago when i had made up my mind all the times we moved to never make friends upon arrival at our new location. i figured - if i don't become friends with anyone, i won't get hurt. and lately i've thought - if i don't let anyone have my heart, there's no chance they can break it.

there's this part where woody tells everyone to look at their foot and points out the fact that andy's name is on the bottom of everyone's shoe. and andy and the gang are all so determined to get back to their owner. and woody - woody just loves andy so much. and all they want is for andy to love them.

and i feel like i want to tell everyone to look at their foot and feel that sense of belonging. i want Jesus to be my andy. my owner that i love and that i belong to and that i would risk my life just to be with.

but i'm left wondering if Jesus is my andy... who (and this could be one person, or more than one - or even a thing) have i given myself to? my time, my energy, my focus... if i were to seriously determine who my owner was by the amount of myself that i gave to that person, whose name would be on the bottom of my shoe?

i honestly don't know if i could look down and find Jesus.

suck.