as i watch my friend go through her heartbreak - it is really hard on me. i remember so much of what she is going through. i remember crying and yelling and yelling and crying. waking up to horrible dreams, or waking up from great dreams - both were awful since the good dreams weren't true, and the bad dreams were just a continuation of the awful reality i faced during the day. i remember being so frustrated with God, myself, etc... i'm so glad i can be there for her, and i'm so proud of her. it is really tough on me - but i also think it's really good too. i'm reminded of God's incredible faithfulness. it's been seven months now, and he has really healed me so much and brought me so far. of course there are days when it all feels like it happened five minutes ago - and days where it feels like i would literally give anything to get what i had back. but moving forward - i am well. i am great. and the faithfulness of Jesus constantly amazes me and awakens my heart in ways i cannot even describe.
j.r.r. tolkien said, "despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. we do not."
despair's great finalities are nothing compared to the endless love that literally causes my heart to beat. i am incredibly in love and it is so fun to be able to say that.
(we escaped to the lake this weekend and neither one of us have a camera. we have this one picture for proof that we went and it was taken with my phone)
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