coldest season of the year.

'hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.' proverbs 13:12

as the past few months have been filled day after day with hopes deferred, i've been feeling like God is urging for me to enter into a season of no expectations. this is incredibly hard for me, because not only do i rarely (unfortunately) feel God actually pressing upon me for anything, but i thrive in the worlds of expectation, hope, and excitement. i am not well when i have little to look forward to.

perhaps this is why i really feel a pressing to move into this new season... one that is free from hope in something specific, and is replaced with hope as a knowledge that Jesus is living in me.

i know that this is going to be an incredibly difficult and most likely lengthy-feeling road, but i know that if Jesus is my one and only longing, i will never be disappointed. and good gosh am i tired of being disappointed.