oftentimes i'll write about songs that have struck a chord in my heart (no pun intended), and tonight is no exception as i recall writing these lyrics down on a five dollar bill during a show i went to last thursday. 'public radio' this time. i like them.
'when the weight of all your hopes is fallin'... i will lift you out of darkness, darlin'...'
sometimes when i'm at a public radio show and listen to their lyrics, i close my eyes (even though i'm surrounded by the odors of beer and tobacco smoke, neither of which my senses find remotely pleasing) and find rest.
i feel like i hear the "faithfulness" christianese being spoken constantly. i've always been confused by it, because honestly - i've felt kind of left out of the faithfulness pool over the past year... basic provisions, yes. i've experienced the faithfulness of God. but as far as heart issues like forgiveness and letting go ... i've felt completely bewildered, and bewilderment turned into deep hurt and outright anger.
the weight of my hopes has been continually falling over the past year, and after a while, i decided to stop expecting anything out of God. besides, i wasn't being that faithful myself. so, why should i expect anything more of him?
everything is different now. freedom has never tasted so good. freedom from the weight of not being able to forgive. freedom from not being able to move on. freedom from deep hurt. and freedom from anger.
this past month or so has been a constant reminder of my God's faithfulness.
i'm his darlin', and baby does it feel good to be lifted out of that darkness.
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