fagetta 'bout it

what is forgiveness, without forgetfulness?

i guess i feel like it is lingering. over my head, in my skin. but it's so hard to forget, and it feels like the task of making someone else forget is even more difficult.

i guess sometimes i feel like even trying to mention the thought of forgetting, would be trying to get myself off the hook. like, "well, let's just forget everything that happened, and we'll call it a day."

but when i mention forgetting following forgiveness, i want a new beginning. i want mercy. another chance to start over. i don't want to keep referring back to the instance for which forgiveness was needed in the first place.

because then, well then ... i don't really feel like forgiveness was ever granted.

philippians 3:13 brothers, i do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. but one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, i press toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

and i want to press into the future, not dwell in the past.