perspiration

as i was walking out of the driveway we've set fireworks off of the last two years and onto the cement holding the burb, i looked at the window of the car. it was early and the cold mixed with the earliness left perspiration all over the vehicle. i just stood there watching all of the water drops falling down and thinking, "i wonder if there are as many water drops on this car, as the tears i've shed over this move". then i thought about how i could just use my sleeve to wipe off all that water and it would just be fine. no more perspiration on the car. God could use his sleeve on me, but he's not. what does that say to me? this is God's will. this is what he wants. charlotte is where i need to be. for how long? i don't know. all i know is that my father is the head of his household and it is right that i respect his decision as leader of his home.

i haven't heard the audible voice of God saying "you need to move to charlotte", but i trust that my dad is making this decision based on his awesome relationship with Jesus. i have to remind myself that this is as hard for him at it is for all of us. often times the person who makes the final decision you look at as "simple". you think because he made the final "yes", or "no", it all the sudden makes it so easy for them. oh, but we are wrong! i just have to adjust to a new life. my dad had to make the decision and adjust. which is harder? it doesn't matter. the point is, not everything in life is about me or you. when will everyone realize that? when will i realize that?

last night i was talking to a friend and she said "you are more fun in tulsa." i said, "how do you mean?" she said, "you are just so much happier from when i talked to you last." (last, being while i was in charlotte) i told her (and myself) that happiness is a choice and no matter where i am, no matter circumstances, i need to choose just that. too many times i do don't do so. too many times i let circumstances or locations dictate my personality and attitude. that is so dumb. (for lack of a better word) i hate it when people do that, so when i do so, not only am i having a bad attitude, but slap "hypocrite" on my name tag as well!

in good time the name tag will come off, and happiness will arrive. oh what a good time that will be.