reaction/reflection

bob goff(president and founder of restore international says): "we're usually either a reaction to, or reflection of, who we've trusted the most with our lives. be a good picker."

i immediately think of all the periods in my life spent trusting all the wrong people and how my actions and person were actually just a really poor reaction to the people i thought i could trust. church leaders and best friends, boys and girls. how much of your life have you spent in the pain of broken or misplaced trust? i'm ashamed to admit that my numbers are staggering.

realizing now that i am so at peace with who i am, the world around me, the people around me... and also recognizing that it's all because i'm being so careful to invite quality people to spend my time with - makes me feel that i am being a good picker. and also makes me relish even more in the truth that time is precious.

i hate how much time was spent on the outs with my brother and his new wife. he was my best friend all growing up and she was my dear friend before they got married. and the pain and disagreements all felt so legitimate - until they dissipated and all that was left was forgiveness and a lot of missing.

and now that i am so at peace with each and every person in my life - i'm wondering how much of it has to do with my relationship status with Jesus. and i think it has everything to do with it.

when i made the decision to move to new york and after listening to some wise counsel on when that should be - every single thing fell in line for me. i trusted that God would have my back from square one and he has gone so much farther to make his love and protection for me known. i'm living in a dream and it's only getting better. and i'm not so ridiculous as to think i made it all happen for myself. i certainly did not.

but it reminds me of a verse i read almost daily from colossians (2:2). i so, so love it: 'i want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God's great mystery.'