brave shmave

i went to charlotte over the weekend for my best friend's bridal shower, and anytime i've gone back for a visit - people are surprised all over again to hear about how much i love it here and how i do not plan on coming back. i always feel awkward at that point in the conversation, because while they're surprised i love it here and probably think i'm crazy - i am surprised they are acting like it's so weird for someone to move away and stay there for a while and i think they're crazy.

of course i choose to have little to no control over where i end up or what i end up doing. meaning a year from now, i could be somewhere else at the urging of Jesus, definitely not my own whims. but i really don't think i will be. i see such cool things happening in this neighborhood and city, and i love that i am apart of it. i'm crazy about the people here and i have never been more excited/happy on a daily basis just to be alive where i'm at.

when i'm down in charlotte, it's like a continuation episode of the last two years of my life spent as a fish out of water. and then i touch down on the ground here, and it's like a rush of peace washes over my soul. for almost two years to the day, this city has been my safe haven. and i think that's what your home is supposed to be.

there's always someone (usually an older person) who asks how it is here, and then tells me how brave i am. this too, always makes me squirm a little. because what am i supposed to say? "yep, i'm pretty damn brave!", "... thank you, friend." ??

i think Anaïs Nin has a better response than i ever do: "[and] the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

but then again, someone else always comes up with better responses than i do.