well tyler was the last of my goodbyes and he just left. nice distraction from packing, but also the very real feeling of my rapidly approaching departure (truck leaves tomorrow morning at seven).
such a different move, this one. standing in the spot of knowing that intentionality with any of my friendships can make them work from any locale and having to do lots of things on my own. this is the first time i've ever packed everything alone - without every other sibling packing their room too and then having to go into all of the family areas and help pack there... everything's just different. and it's good. it feels right, even though it feels a bit awkward.
the last miserable goodbye i had was when i had to leave ava. she had fallen asleep on my chest while everyone was eating dinner right before we had to leave for the airport. i fell asleep too and when i woke up it was time to go. i have the biggest lump in my throat even thinking about the feeling of the cold air hitting me from where ava was keeping me warm. it was the last time i would see her so tiny. and i will always remember how sweet it was to hold her every morning before everyone else woke up - but she will never remember.
i can imagine now that the goodbyes i'll have with paul and my parents are going to be similar. i'm dreading it to say the least. for now - i'm going to go have a date with paul before i leave in less than seven hours.
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