maybe. so what?

lately i've been thinking about my purpose. a lot of this has to do with the fact that i am not in school this semester and i can't even count on both of my hands (meaning it has been way more than ten) how many times someone has found that out and informed me i wouldn't be going back. 'oh, thanks for letting me know." i think, as i roll my eyes and tell them how i feel about them in my head.

i'm 100% positive i want to be a teacher. but let's look back on my life at all of the other things i was 100% positive i wanted to do, but haven't: mastered the guitar, get some music recorded, get straight a's one whole semester (although i admit that is something i did not even come close to trying for), marry the first guy i dated, not get in any wrecks... the list can go on, but i'm going to just cut it there.

for some reason or another, a lot of the things i want to do i haven't had a chance to, or i haven't made a chance available to me. or a lot of the things i wanted, couldn't happen. and that's ok. it's life. sometimes you want stuff, and even feel like you need it - but it usually turns out that you don't.

i may get to new york and realize that i want to work with poor kids in another way. i may realize i want to be a social worker and help get kids out of terrible situations. i may realize that i want to move to haiti and spend a good portion of my life helping all of those little ones that have held a special part of my heart since i went.

sometimes dreams and passions change. they are an ever evolving part of who you are. ten years ago i wanted to be a journalist and five years ago i wanted to be a worship leader and now i want to be a teacher. but whatever i decide to do - i want to shock myself with the amount of heart i want to put into it. i want to be worn out by the end of the day because i gave so much of who i am to a cause that i believe in so mightily.

'because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear ....' hebrews 6:17

i am excited about the fact that in all of my ever-evolving and limited views of what i think my purpose is, i have chosen to trust in someone whose very nature is unchanging.