nets

have you ever been goin' down this path of life and realized that you are sort of a different person compared to who you were before?

a number of different circumstances have changed who i am ... i've grown in some areas, and i've rapidly regressed in others.

one of the areas i've noticed a significant lapse in would be security. i used to be this certain girl. sure of what i was doing, where i was going, and unafraid of where i would end up. i knew who i was. i miss this girl.

but then stuff happened. people hurt me. circumstances changed me. and now i'm this girl... a little timid regarding my future, somewhat hopeless when it concerns meeting and trusting new people, and unsure of who i am. i really don't like this girl.

sounds like it sucks, right? it does... but this is when i realize just how much i need Jesus. when i'm broken, and poured out like a puddle of liquid pain - waiting for him to make me solid again.

my friend wrote this song about simon peter, and as i've listened to it i've come to see some of myself in simon peter. timid to walk out on the water - even though the son of my creator is standing on the firm sea, waiting for me to join him on the other side. one part of the song says, "simon peter, don't look now, but you're walkin' on... who you used to be."

over the past few weeks, with the help of Jesus, jud, and lyds - pointing out that it is not only me that my insecurity is affecting, but others - i have started to see how important it is for me to grow in that divine security. to overcome the challenges i'm facing now - so that it won't be long before God can tell me that i'm walkin' on who i used to be.

behold He makes all things new.