pomp & chasing a homeless guy down to give him fried rice

i bet you were just sitting at your computer/phone/ipad waiting for me to tell you all about sandy, right? right. let me tell you something: this city is resilient. do i think we should still have the marathon this weekend? absolutely not. we don't need to divert the attention of tons of necessary able bodied people and create even bigger traffic nightmares than we already have to prove that we are a bounce back kind of island. and as frustrated as i am with every commute i've had - nothing compares to the extensive needing i see in the midst of excessive spending.

i've spent most of my week in midtown east - a part of the city i adore for the architectural genius and building lobbies that make the part of my heart that is nerdily interested in all that stuff melt. but mostly it's a part of the city i can't stand to be in due to the posture of the pomp. as i would get texts from my boyfriend spending the his days and through-the-nights at a shelter, i was pushing my way through the hoards of people that continue on with their days, unaffected on a deeper level by what is happening just miles away from or over bridges near them

it's always been hard for me to see the separation of heart and wallet, walk and talk, stride and mind. unfortunately growing up in the church means being surrounded by it constantly. pastors who stand at the pulpit on a sunday morning saying we should be generous, but who remains inaccessible to general public and ignores the homeless guy on his/her way to the steakhouse. youth pastors who preach about discernment, yet are buying you a drink at starbucks to tell you they heard you were a liar and without further investigation would like you to leave.

and since everyone else seemed to have a steady 9-5 in the separation department, i got one too. sleeping at last (in a genius song called naive) said, "now it's so hard to separate, my disappointment from His name." i think if it weren't for people like my family or some of my best friends or my boyfriend, i wouldn't have been able to turn back the hands of time. i'd still be lumping my disappointments into the God basket and i'd continue to be frustrated with humanity as a whole. when you see so much disconnect, it's easy.

but then i look into certain people's faces and everything makes sense. there's connection. and then i just throw my hands up in the air and i say, "you win [God]. you always do."