no control.

'i can think back to a time, when the problems in my life were fine... if i took my closest friend on a long car ride. now i'm goin' down a road, with a vacant passenger's side and i just don't which way that i should drive.' - jeremy current.

not many song lyrics match my sentiments like those do.

as i've written about before, a few weeks ago i had the pleasure of sharing in the joy of my dear friend kara asking Jesus into her heart.

we had many talks of faith and Jesus before she made this decision. in those conversations, i felt like it was important to remind her that trusting in a faithful, powerful, and outrageously loving God does not entail a hurt-free future. oftentimes, serving this God leaves me exhausted and experiencing, painfully, what it means to truly take a back seat to my own plans and hopes.

amidst entering into this new chapter of my life, i can't help but wake up every morning and say the words, "i trust you."

there's nothing left in my heart that is mine. when i promised Jesus my heart, i promised him my plans and hopes. hopes that haven't left, but that have been asked to wait. i've been asked to wait, and wait i will.

the pain is present - but so is He.