i can't hear you

i remember when i was little, i never wanted to hear about anything bad, or scary... or anything that might happen, that might be bad or scary.

it was so easy for me to plug my ears and block out whatever would be said, and even though that wouldn't stop what was maybe going to happen, it basically did in my mind.

last night we were talking about this and that, when my dad brought up some of that day's news. he began to talk about how the president of iran or iraq had said that today, august 22nd, would be a big day in history. and he used some intimidating words... words that would scare any kid.

right when my dad brought it up, i looked over at my little brother, and he had plugged his ears and closed his eyes. then he walked outside.

and i was reminded of how easy it is to plug our ears and close our eyes to unwanted realizations.

sometimes we try and tune out God. or, we try and tune out the inevitable.

i remember when we were going to move, and a dear friend of the family, and lady i had babysat for all the time, refused to believe that we were actually moving. only a couple weeks away from
leaving town, i remember her saying, "i won't believe it until i see it."

well, she saw it. we moved, and i don't think the fact that she refused to believe what was actually happening helped her at all.

i think maybe it begins with plugging our ears, then we close our eyes while we're plugging our ears, then we just decide to walk outside, because it's easier than sitting there with plugged ears and closed eyes.

like, in my case, God was trying to tell me that i needed to get more involved in worship. in my timidity, i decided to plug my ears. then i decided to shut my eyes to the obvious, and then i just decided to walk outside, finding it was entirely more simple than constant avoidance, by way of ear plugging and eye shutting.

i'm not going to do that anymore. i would rather not let hellish fear trample the divine will of Jesus.