wow

do you ever feel your heart stretching? i've been having some growing pains, lately. i'll tell you about some of them.

my family is getting bigger. my brothers are making babies with their wives, and they are beautiful little pieces of art who inspire me. i can't ever stop looking at pictures of them, watching their videos, or thinking about how quickly their lives are flashing before me. i think - wow, God. will they ever know how adored they are?

yesterday i saw a big guy on the train. he was a middle aged white guy who looks like he lives in his mom's basement. a see-through pink shirt (with a 13 year old boy tie) tucked into khaki pants that were a good four inches too short and some funny pilgrim shoes. i saw him looking at his reflection in the window across from him, and he kept adjusting his body and clothes and looking at the floor. the look of disappointment in himself made me want to cry. i'm not sure i've ever seen someone visibly hate themselves as much as i saw it then. tears literally came to my eyes as i thought about some of my own family members who i know feel so poorly about themselves. i thought - wow, God. if only they could see how incredible they are - how LOVED they are. and how perfect they are. sheesh - why are we so hyper-aware of our physicality? yuck.

every day, i get paid to hang out with two of my favorite people in the world. theo & georgie girl. theo called me and left me a message last night, just saying he loves me (he's 1.5 - i get that it's weird he can talk). today, georgie would only fall asleep if my hand was touching some part of her body. i thought - wow, God. how did i get this hook up?

yesterday i talked to my best friend, lyds. she is married and so happy and being friends with her never, ever gets old. she is one of those ole' faithful friends who has seen me through it all. someday we'll help each other with new babies and life things, just like we've helped each other with new boys and life things. it's just how we roll. and i think - wow, God. i hope everyone has a best friend like her.

sunday night, i get to hug my boyfriend home after five weeks of him being in morocco telling people about Jesus by playing soccer with them and feeding and playing with orphans. last night i squealed into my pillow thinking about how excited i am to hear about all his adventures and to have him back around. i've missed having him around more than i think i even know. and i think - wow, God. how'd i get so blessed?

i think everyday i have that "wow, God - you're so _____" feeling. almost always, it's _____ = faithful. but this week it's _____ = fun. _____ = beyond loving. _____ = just plain good.