overtime hours in the surprise party biz

every monday and every other friday at around 6:30am i walk down chambers street. and then every monday and every other friday night at around 6:15pm, i walk up chambers street. i see so many of the same people on my commute. it turns out a couple of the guys on my same train downtown even work in the same building i do. new york is so big, but also so tiny.

when i'm walking to the train at night, scattered up and down chambers are older guys wearing these blue smocks that say, "guys and dolls", which is a strip club in the neighborhood. they are passing out fliers and will only talk to men. never have i seen them try to hand one of those papers to a woman.

there's one man in particular that i notice. he's a distinguished looking, older asian man. looks like he is the patriarch of a family of delicious cooks. he used to look at the floor when i would walk past him, or stand next to him waiting to cross the street. you could practically feel the shame just oozing from him. i always wonder how he got to this point. i want to know his story. so all summer, i worked on making eye contact with him. towards the middle of the summer he started to look at me, and by the end of the summer he was half smiling.

today i walked past and gave him a big smile and a wave, excited to see him. i was crying the rest of my walk to the train because of the response i got. his head is almost always down, focused on his task of handing those little fliers out to guys - but when he looked up and saw me smiling and waving - he lit up and started waving back like a little kid. kept saying, "hi! hi! hello!"

there's a song by jenn johnson that we sing at my church called "God i look to you" that i absolutely love. each verse is something you definitely want to be praying and proclaiming each day. but the second chorus says, "halelujah, our God reigns" and just keeps repeating it. i was listening to it on my walk to the train and before i even saw my guys and dolls friend, i started thinking of all the things i want God to reign over in my life and in the lives of others. i thought of all the ways he does reign.

i want him to reign over my sister-in-law and the job she has and hates. i want him to reign over a woman i know who is pregnant and brave and has valid reasons to feel like her baby may never make it. i want him to reign over the neighbor who saw me struggling to get all my laundry and recycle to the basement and said, "it is my privilege to help you." i want him to reign over the girls who are being traded for sex like they are invisible. i want him to reign over the young couple with a newborn who was so embarrassed to be taking a long time in front of me at the grocery store because they didn't know what all their food stamps would pay for.

and so tonight while i'm singing "halelujah, our God reigns", i'm also passing this man who looks ashamed but is probably just trying to put some food on the table. and once again, my heart broke for the people in this city.

one of the verses in this same song says, "God i look to you, i won't be overwhelmed. give me vision - to see things like you do." that has been my prayer for a long time. and let me tell you... i really felt like God answered it tonight in the form of a sweet, old asian man passing out strip club fliers.

God's kind of like a surprise party that works over time.