love/hate relationship

i hate goodbyes, and i love them.

let's talk about the kind of goodbyes i hate:

goodbyes to my family. i will never forget my heart feeling like it was being torn in half as i left my niece when she was two and a half weeks old. i peeled her little sleeping body off of my chest only to have her warmth replaced by cold january air and the harsh realty that i felt called to a city almost 3,000 miles away from her.

now for the goodbyes that i love:

goodbyes to people and places that don't contribute life, love, joy, and peace. i loved the process of packing up that moving truck and peacing out of a city that represented much of the pain pool i felt like i was drowning in.

in a song by this band i love called slow club, they sing: ''cause there's no good way to say i'm leavin' you.' and i would have to agree - kind of. there's no good way for me to tell my family and my best friends bye. but there are some goodbyes that have paved the way for such fantastic hellos.

i was reminded of this last night, drinking warm drinks with two lovely girls in a cozy apartment. hello tea. hello dear friends.