to don't

yesterday at church, tyson said: 'we live in a culture that works to cultivate a perpetual sense that we are missing out.'

know what's fun? reliving your youth when you're not even out of your youth... being on the hopefully never-ending road to realizing that everything that is supposed to happen will happen (when living in that terrifyingly free land of surrender).

and see the problem with us is that we ignore the contents of that parenthesis. like i said a couple posts ago - we live lives of expectation, supposing we deserve everything that comes our way or hasn't yet. we forget the fact, the beautiful truth, that God is bigger, better, and more beautiful than the stuffy box we've let him call no shots from.

in the 'shattered lantern', ronald rolheiser says: 'the God who is met in the measured expectations of our own desires and imagination dies in his own impotence and irrelevance.'

there have been times in my life that God has been calling me and calling me and getting the eternal busy signal. for some reason i thought i could do a better job at watering and giving sunshine to my life and telling the gardner himself to get lost.

so i like it this way the best. not really having much on my list of things to do or expect - but all the while resting in the knowledge that i'm not a very great list-maker as it is.