paint with your mouth

things do change and friends do leave, and unfortunately some people do let that stop them from doing life...

my only complaint about this city - which really isn't even unique to new york at all, but just a widespread epidemic particularly found in those that consider themselves Christians is: paralysis.

i've found it a lot here though. people who have considered themselves entitled to great things because they've lived some special life of dedication to God or to good things in general. people who wait: stuck, stagnant - positioning themselves for the 'next big thing' that's going to happen to them (marriage, etc...). but in reality, positioning themselves for such frustration.

we're surrounded by people who are looking to climb that God-forsaken corporate ladder - never satisfied with what they make or the size of their office or home. we're surrounded by men who want prettier, younger wives. we're surrounded by women who want more attentive, sensitive husbands (and please tell me where i can find a non-sensitive guy that is not a douche - i know maybe two). parents who want more well behaved children.

but the corporate ladder climbers are lazy, the men are old and ugly, the women are bitchy and cry too much, and the parents don't train their children. we're all expectant of specific things yet unwilling to put one foot in front of the next to make them happen.

most times, i feel really blessed to have restless passion syndrome. it really encourages me to pursue what i feel called to pursue. and it's good to remind myself that the things i have are gifts. not earnings. and that when things don't go as planned - putting your hopes into someone unyielding in his love and desire for us to grow in love will never, ever disappoint. even if it feels like it.