from atlantic to pacific

on sunday i went to the beach with my brother and sister-in-law and despite the few spastic episodes of running from seagulls and pigeons following the trail of food craig planted in the sand leading to my peaceful, book reading self - it was a relaxing day spent doing what i always do at the beach...

i've been craving the beach for a long time. i don't know how this happened, but i haven't been to a real beach since july of freaking 2009. yes, mark & jamie's wedding was in st. thomas, but megan's bay cannot be called a beach. it's more like a dirty lake with half-naked old people.

something about lying in the sand, staring out at the crashing waves of the atlantic makes me feel so close to my family who can go lie on the sand and stare out at the crashing waves of the pacific. even though we're so very far apart, it feels like we're right there together - looking at the same thing.

and i can be at any beach and look all the way out as far as my eyes will take me and i can't see an end. the limitlessness of God is at work in everything he makes and has made, but it's so obvious in the ocean. and i do this every time... because i love being reminded that my God is not limitless. and he challenges me to be just that on a daily basis.

so when do i let go of the struggle that yells within me: "i am human" - forgiving and excusing my handicapped sense of love and for others? sometimes even my own family...

ugh. never.