year of firsts

i have this new theory that makes so much sense to me. and it may or may not do the same for you, but we'll try it anyways...

it's called the year of firsts. after you experience the end of something or someone - for whatever reason, be it breaking up, that person dying, etc... you have to go through the year of firsts. the first christmas without that person, the first birthday, the first what-would-have-been-your-anniversary, the first summer... all of the things that make you go, "this time last year i was with [whoever].." the first year after that person is gone, is rough. you think those things one event after the next, one season after the next, one day after the next, really.

2010 was my year of firsts. and even though it was a good year all and all (two weddings, a beautiful niece, and some great vacations), it was painful in many ways to experience all of those firsts.

c.s. lewis said, 'the terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self - all your wishes and precautions to Christ.'

i'm finding this not to be so terrible. all of my firsts are over with, and i am making 'this time last year' memories with people that will always be around. i am loving living. i love being tim and ann's daughter. brad, mark, craig, luke, and paul's sister. jamaica, jamie, and kara's sister-in-law. and ava's aunt (i have a lot of other titles that i love, but i'll cut it there). i am moving to a city i love, pressing on in my passion to be a teacher, and being blessed in every way imaginable on the way there: from a great job now, to a great job set up for me when i get there!

my friend taryn wrote an awesome blog titled 'hijacked' (read it here http://oork.com/tvuzr). she talks about how God took every plan she had and thought was good, and turned it into something completely different than she ever expected.

i feel the exact same way... the place i am in life right now is dramatically different than the place i thought i would be, but that's ok. in fact, it's great. God saw that my plans were so tiny and close-minded and gave me a better view of where i could be and what i could do.

i read the following passage this morning and was once again reminded me of the creativity of the God i love:

'and the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. to him be the power for ever and ever. amen.' first peter 5:10-12.