oh, anne - how you speak truth.

"you can tell you've created God in your own image, when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do." anne lammott.

unfortunately, this quote makes complete sense to me.

it's been so easy for me to form-fit God into my life, and not really revolve my world around him. screwed up, right? i haven't given a second thought to rushing through life, not even taking a moment to rest in the fact that there's a God watching (and caring about) everything i do.

for instance, did you know that i go to a somewhat sketchy school twice a week, and instead of seeing this as an opportunity to show kamikaze love to anyone and everyone that i come across, i try to find the most empty walkways and walk faster than i ever do. instead of resting in the process of education - i try to rush through my homework and classes, and although i pass my courses... i don't try my hardest. i don't give my all.

over the past thirteen days, i've experienced radical change in both my heart and my mind. i've come to the conclusion that i need to have patience, i need rest. i've come to the conclusion that i cannot do life without a complete reliance upon a God who saves me everyday. i've come to the conclusion that without trusting God, without trusting others, and without simply resting in that trust - i cannot live.

and when i say i cannot live - that doesn't mean that i will cease to breathe... it just means there won't be much purpose behind breaths.