preposterous

recently, i read an interview with one of my favorite authors, elie wiesel.

wiesel, now in his late seventies, was a child of the holocaust, and endured many hardships with his family, his father, and his faith in particular.

one question and answer left an impression on me.

q: what is it like having strangers ask you if or why you believe in God?

a: "you know who asks me the most? it's children. children ask, "how can you still believe in God?" in "all rivers run to the sea," i speak about it. there are all the reasons in the world for me to give up on God. i have the same reasons to give up on man, and on culture, and on education... i don't give up on humanity, i don't give up on culture, i don't give up on journalism... i don't give up on it. i have the reasons. i don't use them."
reasons. they are always there, and yet the ultimate choice to use them or not is ours, and only ours.

i wish i knew what exact thing led us to do what we do with our reasons.

i've felt - more than once - that i've had somewhat valid reasons to give up on God.

but, miraculously, i've only grown closer to Jesus just thinking i had those reasons.

perhaps the very thought of dealing with the things that gave me thoughts about forgetting God made me coward out on exactly the thing i had the excuse to do: give up.

but i like what mr. wiesel stated in his answer: " i have the reasons. i don't use them."

i admire him in his faith journey. i admire that after being starved, beaten, naked, and vulnerable, he has the ability to make the idea of giving up on God sound preposterous.

i only hope i make the wisest of wise decisions with the reasons presented to me as life carries on... and when i don't, for i know i won't, Jesus will be right there to make the idea of giving up on him sound ridiculous.