i've turned over a new leaf

it's funny how one's superiority can change even the littlest of things.

my family is becoming better and better friends with the executive producer of a new film approaching its release next weekend. this guy (kevin) is awesomely bad. i mean... says all the right complements, has a rad family, and is hookin' me up for my 16th in NYC like none other.

long story short: what was supposed to be kevin comin' to my school to speak to my journalism class, turned into an assembly at the gym for a few classes. mind you, i didn't think anything huge of kevin comin'. sure, he's sweet-as, but... i don't think of him as this unapproachable big dog. apparently people make a massive deal out of things like this and since i'm the one who brought this wonder in form of a man to school, i'm looked at in a new light. i went from being the awkward red head who wears green shoes and lots of necklaces, to the "girl who brought kevin in for show and tell".

on my way out of school, the door was held for me, and smiles were flashed by those who wouldn't be the donors of such gifts two days before. i hate that i was treated differently, just because i knew someone of merit. on the plus side, i'll now be able to wear ripped jeans, band t-shirts, and hats, as i'm the only link that school has to kevin (whom they want to re-appear at graduation). but, i never once thought, "people, people, people. if only you knew i was bringing you this guy...." earlier, when i hadn't been recognized.

i wonder if that's how Jesus felt. i wonder if after he was being spat at and whipped, that he thought, "nerds. if only they knew that after this is over, i'm the only way out". knowing Jesus, well, i still don't know... i really don't know.